Cal’s Angels Gala

We got to be fancy once again a couple of weekends ago. Twice in 2 weeks! We went to a fundraising gala for Cal’s Angels, the pediatric cancer charity we do things with sometimes. I also ran the marathon for them last year and am on the Cal’s team for it again this year. I can’t say enough good things about this organization.

The gala was beautiful and fun. Quick rewind: last year, I did not enjoy the event at all. It was’t because there was anything wrong with the event. In retrospect, I wasn’t ready to look back on cancer yet, wasn’t ready to hear others’ stories because we were still too deep in our own. But last year, I needed to get dressed up and go out. It was the only thing on our calendar for a month before or after besides doctor visits. I went all out, got my hair and makeup done professionally, something I hadn’t done since our wedding, and I rented a gold dress. We got there and hardly knew anyone. I couldn’t rally my confidence or chattiness at all. Everyone was nice. I just wasn’t feeling it.

Because of last year, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go again. I didn’t make a hair or makeup appointment. I didn’t rent a dress (I have decided never to buy another dress again) until about a week beforehand. I was nervous. I tried to look forward to the social aspect of it and an evening out with Dear Husband, and I focused on that. It was about the day prior before I started to feel excited about it.

When we got there, we saw people we knew, people who were happy to see us. We saw faces we recognized, and I started to relax. We sat at our table with our friends and introduced ourselves to those at the table we didn’t already know, and right away, we knew it would be a fun evening. These were funny, engaging, caring people who made us laugh and wanted to know our story too. The presentation began, and I was glad we were there.

Then a cancer family spoke. Their teenage daughter had the same type of cancer that our little boy had. Her story mimicked his so closely, from their diagnosis dates being within a week of one another to the things they were told in the hospital (“If you have to get cancer, this is the one to get”) that it sent me into a tailspin because she had relapsed, a word I shudder to even say out loud. Her story is one of triumph, as she is now cancer free, but by the time they were done talking, tears were streaming down my face and my shoulders were shaking. This wasn’t a little tears-glistening-in-the-corner-of-my-eyes kind of cry. I was weeping. There was snot. Thank goodness I didn’t spend money on makeup because it was pretty much gone by the time I recovered. But at no point did I feel judged by all of these beautiful people around us. They produced tissues from tiny purses and hugged me hard like they meant it.

I managed to pull myself together in time to witness the spectacle of the fundraising auction. Best Bear Ever Robbie Gould was the guest of honor who helped pressure people into spending crazy amounts of money for cancer awareness and research, and we got to meet him and take a picture with him early in the evening before things got too serious. I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to throw down $40,000 for a one-week vacation in the name of pediatric cancer, but I think I have a new life goal. Better start making my bed every morning because I hear that’s how you become a millionaire.

We left the event feeling full, refilled, able to pour a little into others again. I also had the sense that people are basically good, despite my overall cynicism about the state of humanity these days. Everyone is doing their best to make a good mark in the world while they’re here, right? Everyone is just doing their best. I’m glad I got to meet more people whose best is really really good.